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 Was I wrong? Or just..me..?

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PostSubject: Was I wrong? Or just..me..?   Wed Jan 30, 2013 4:14 pm

This is my story //immediately slapped

Actually this is just my problem. At first I always thought it was just me, but now I'm feeling it..
I think I have been a 'friend/crush/family thief' for some reason for some decades.. ok, that was exaggerating. But seriously, I'm feeling like that. Oh, yeah... each stories, different people

The first one, I think, when I was in middle school. I was a loner, freaky, emo, etc. However eventually I got this good friend. He used to hang out with other girls, but once we talked about game, we went along and he eventually talked to me very frequently and we became best friends in our second year. One thing I realized that he abandoned his friends even though not entirely. He almost came to me to talk and we even made a clique (with the other friends, they are also my best friends), he almost like ignored his friends.

The second one happened when I was in high school. Still, freaky loner, now please add arrogant and cocky. I couldn't stand the environment in my first high school where almost all of the students were delinquents. I actually didn't mind delinquents as long as they had brains, but they didn't. Tired of getting cheated and money stolen, I transferred. There were these 2 persons greeted me, those two were friends since middle school. I was very glad that they were very friendly and they even introduced me to the other local-breed-people (most of students in that school were chinese-breed) . We went along until our second year this accident or incident happened.. My friends actually liked me since I was a quiet-whatever-type and we almost never fought, however one of 2 persons who greeted me on my first day was very sensitive and often created problems with the other, including me. Eventually, her middle school friends who were also studying in that school often came to me and asked me to hang out together. They even shared their problems with me. They went to be closer to me than her. I also had a male-best friend. It was a very unfortunate that this girl(my friend, not me) liked him. She went to hate me for some moments and even talked bad about me bluntly in front of her friends who were also my friends. They reported to me, though I felt bad I didn't really say anything necessary. Then, my male-best friend went to ask for my help because of that girl. He wanted to 'get rid' of her by getting closer and closer to me as if we were dating or something. I felt bad, but that was not my fault that he went liking on me. He was my best friend, I had to help him anyway. At least, that was what I thought. The girl actually went madder. Thought it's already over, my friends sometimes talked about it again and bad-mouthing the girl. But, they were still friends with her.

Next one happened also, in high school. This time is in my 3rd year. It was when I was very active in cosplay community. I was asked by my friend to join her group and I accepted it. She introduced me to some people and she liked one of them. Eventually, again, I was the one who could get along with my friend's friends even though I didn't talk much. We often went to hang out together and I became closer to some people including the one she liked. No, please, I didn't like him on the first time. I treated everyone equal and so did they. One day, I was pissed because my double-cosplay failed, my wig got screwed and I couldn't keep my promise to participate in both teams. Although my friends didn't make it as a big deal, I was still pissed, mad, and sad. For some reason, this person who my friend liked, petted my head and told me to calm down. Since he was older, I didn't mind but.. he was warm and I went to like him, a bit. Come on, I was a 17years-old teenager who never had a boyfriend, and no guys ever treated me like that because almost all of them treated me as a guy!!
Ahem, enough with that..
So... Although I felt liking him, I quickly swatted away that feeling because I knew my friend liked him. After that we stayed over in a friend's house and in the morning we went to her workshop. Me, who was supposed to have no feeling anymore toward him, said something stupid that made him blinked for a moment. That something was contained with my feeling, too obvious even though it was supposed to be normal words. Maybe if I said that to a girl, it would be. That awkward moment fortunately could be melted by my other friend who came and asked something.
When we were on they way home, that guy told me when we were walking next each other, that he loved me. I almost get chocked and gave him an awkward smile. Dammit, please, he said that behind my friend! The girl who liked him! Although he said it almost like in whisper, but still. The unfortunate thing, my friend actually heard it and she called me when each of us already home. She cried duh, and I didn't know what to do. She told me that she had confessed to him and got rejected.

The next one.. happened still in my 3rd year of middle school. I half-quit from my friend's cosplay group. Since I was kind of a solo cosplayer, I hanged out with other groups. One day, I hanged out with this group from other city. Okay, twice happened. Just like before, even though I befriended with all of them, a guy confessed to me, and what I knew, my friend liked him. And the unfortunate thing, I found that she liked him after I accepted him. She never told me her feelings and I never bothered to ask people's problems anyway. So, I thought that wasn't my fault.

5th one, still about guy. For some reason, I and this guy, who is currently my boyfriend now, were actually dating for our own purposes. At first, we didn't love each other and didn't really care about each other. However, I dunno why love eventually bloomed. My boyfriend had a 'sister' who he treasured very much, almost all of her wants he granted. Unfortunately, since he went to love me entirely, he almost completely abandoned his 'sister'. His 'sister' went mad even though not directly. my boyfriend even told me that he would forget her being his 'sister' and all, and would care less about her. This time, I felt super duper bad. I know this is my fault. Well yeah, but I hadn't realized it that I had been doing it since my teen.

The -almost-last! Not about guys anymore!
Ok, so I was very active in a forum. This forum was made for locals who chatted in MiRc(idk how to type it) and got tired with that thing. One of them made a forum and almost all of us in that room we used to chat in MiRC went to that forum and we almost entirely transferred to there. We really had fun until the admin made me as a moderator. There was this person who was very close to me. S/he always talked to me about everything. S/he then introduced me to her friends who s/he invited into the forum. Again.. it happened D:.... Her friends became closer to me and even closer than to her. They told me that I was very easy-going and they complained about her/him for being extreme chatter, always nagged, bragging her/himself. Although I was also pissed of her/him, I had never thought that the other felt the same. Thus we became friends. However, I had never told them about me getting tired of him/her.
However, this time I realized.. I just stolen someone from the other.

The real last one!! Not about guys, don't worry -w-...
Again, dammit, I was a freaking old-loner in my new university. Ok, I'm the oldest amongst this major freshmen, I didn't talk much since I'm a beater, I have these strategies to survive in university life. And as expected, I learned faster than the other. Eventually some people began to talk to me, and this group eventually treated me as one of them. The thing is, there are 2 persons amongst them who are now being disliked by the other members. This is getting worse as I always hang out with this group in campus. Well, we study seriously, give critiques and tips to each other, not really procrastinators and did our assignments on time. However these 2 persons aren't like that. The other slowly dislike them and slowly avoid them. They invited me to their events instead of inviting these 2 persons. I feel kind of like something.. bad... As if, they abandoned these persons because I went into their group. Even though, I know that's not the reason.

Okay the question is....
Were those bad things...? Did I do bad thing? Do I need to apologize...?
Now, in this age.. I feel really bad with my nature.

Haaaaaaah... now they have been vented out.. I feel a bit lighter now.
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PostSubject: Re: Was I wrong? Or just..me..?   Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:08 am

tralalala, i knew this was late. but hey, just voicing out my opinion. Definitely not your fault. if anyone wanted to be closer to you, then it's by their own choice, and not because you wanted them to be. if anyone has disliked you for that, then they're the ones in the wrong. so no need to apologize. = v =


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